Talk It Up!

Hewlett Packard's support

Can cut-and-paste be sincere?

You know, I'm glad that this support incident happened in chat because I'm not sure anyone would believe the circles this guy ran me in if I just relayed a phone conversation. Never minding that to me, proper spelling would have been as respectful as, say, saying "please" and "thank you" in a real-life conversation, but the guy also did the equivalent of "hanging up" on me... I was in the midst of typing, "I hope you don't mind if I blog this experience" when I got the notice that the chat had been disconnected.

I wonder that if he would have hung up over the phone as well?

The transcript of the end of the session. Unfortunately, the first 40 minutes of the conversation in which I explained that my printer would print fine to regular paper but was suddenly jamming when I tried to print labels (Avery basic 5160), was cut off. So we join the conversation after he has already instructed me to clean the rollers and run a test page (Tom, can't wait to hear your comments on what he could have done better):

Garrick: IS that the page printedfine
Heidi Miller: looks OK to me
Garrick: Okay
Garrick: We will try with some settings now
Garrick: Open any word documnet
Garrick: 1. Click on TOOLS. 
2. Click on ENVELOPES & LABELS.
Heidi Miller: Ok
Garrick: 3. Click on the LABELS tab. 
4. Click on the OPTIONS button.
Heidi Miller: (on 2004, those are two separate options, so I clicked on Labels)
Heidi Miller: OK. It's set to 5160
Garrick: 5. Under PRODUCT NUMBER, click on 5371 - BUSINESS CARD. 
6. Click on OK.
Heidi Miller: ok
Garrick: 7. Click on NEW DOCUMENT.
Heidi Miller: ok
Garrick: 8. Enter text
Heidi Miller: ok
Garrick: 9. Test print on a blank sheet of paper and compare with design product to make sure that text lines up correctly. Make any adjustments to text at this time.
Heidi Miller: Um... but you had me set it to business card, and I don't have that product.
Heidi Miller: What am I test printing?
Heidi Miller: the new document with text or the blank business cards?
Garrick: The label is the Business card
Heidi Miller: OK, but you said to create a new blank document and type text into that, which is not a business card.
Garrick: Okay
Garrick: Now you try tp print the labels
Heidi Miller: At any rate, it doesn't matter; I don't have a business card template, so I have no way to see if the text would line up, anyway.
Garrick: Okay, Please try to print the labels
Heidi Miller: Wow. That is quite possibly the worst paper jam I've seen yet.
Heidi Miller: Unpleasant sound the machine is making.
Garrick: Is that the paper jammed
Heidi Miller: Yes.
Garrick: Please clean that by cleaning the rolers
Heidi Miller: quite spectacularly. I'm going to rip it out now.
Heidi Miller: Cleaning the rollers? Didn't I just do that?
Heidi Miller: You want me to clean them again?
Garrick: As the labels has jamed we need to clean the rolers
Garrick: Please clean the rolers to isolate the issue'
Heidi Miller: OK. They're clean. Again.
Garrick: Okay
Heidi Miller: Any other ideas?
Heidi Miller: (It's past my bedtime.)
Garrick: We will set the paper size in the dirextor once
Heidi Miller: OK, but isn't the paper size set?
Heidi Miller: It prints fine to 8 1/2 x 11 paper, as I said. Just not 8 12/ x 11 labels.
Garrick: Please click on start---->programs---->hp------->hp solution center
Heidi Miller: I use a Mac.
Heidi Miller: Applications folder?
Garrick: " I would like to inform you that HP offers only phone support for Macintosh
environment. We would have been to glad to assist you through chat but
unfortunately HP does not offer CHAT support for this product due to non
availability of complete information. Additionally, we are not trained and expertise in
resolving the issues withMAC OS. We regret for the inconvenience caused and hope
you understand ourlimitations.
However, you can avail complete support on the Macintosh environment through
our phone support teams. You can call them @ 800-HP-INVENT or 800-474-6836.
These service engineers are Macintosh OS specialists and would be able to
help you over the phone. This Support is available at the following timings:
* Monday through Friday: 8am-midnight EST
* Saturday: 10am-6pm EST
* Sunday: No support hours
We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience and look forward to assist you.
" You can call them These service engineers are Macintosh OS specialists and would be able to
help you over the phone. This Support is available at the following timings:
* Monday through Friday: 8am-midnight EST
* Saturday: 10am-6pm EST
* Sunday: No support hours
We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience and look forward to assist you.
"
Heidi Miller: You have GOT to be kidding me.
Garrick: We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience
Heidi Miller: Yeah, you sound sincere when you cut and pasted that.

Power to the people

[sniff, cough, sneeze] Coming to you feeling barely human today, as I'm in the grips of an icky cold. However, in spite of all the sniffling and whining, here's an idea to share based on a pretty darn good customer service experience I had last week.

The idea: if you must place customers on hold for extended periods of time (we're talking 40, 50, 60 minutes here), let them know how long the wait will be.

Seems simple, yes? And yet, with all the time I've spent on the phone with customer service/tech support this month (and we're talking HOURS here), this company, Overnight Prints, is the first service that has had the foresight to do this.

When I called in last Thursday to report a mistake in the color of my business card order, the recorded message said that I was caller 44. So I put the call on speakerphone and... did some work online. Washed my dishes. Checked the phone... caller 29. Great! I ran downstairs and put in some laundry. I made another call on my cell phone. Checked the phone... caller 21. Good. I went into the other room and edited a document. Made another call on my cell phone. Took the trash downstairs.

Now, all in all, I was on hold for nearly an hour--53 minutes. But I wasn't furious by the time I got an operator. Why? Because Overnight Prints empowered me, the impatient customer, by letting me know exactly where I was in the queue. So I could walk away from the phone for five, 10, even 20 minutes and be assured that I wouldn't return to a dial tone because the company finally decided to pick up. I could decide how to use my wait time. I have the power! 

This is genius, I tell you. Why doesn't everyone do this?

My first vidcast

Check out my very first vidcast, courtesy of Becky McCray at the Great Big Small Business Show!

"We're here to help"

I saw the most stunningly effective billboard yesterday--it made me laugh out loud and think, "You know, these people get it!"

The text of the billboard:

90/94 West goes North
90/04 East goes South
        --Harris Bank. We're here to help.

OK, this is probably only funny if you live in Chicago, but this is probably the most helpful thing this bank could ever do for Chicago residents! See, 90/94 is indeed an east-west highway, but in Chicago, it runs north-south, presumably because of the lake and the city's orientation. When I first moved here, I could never remember whether east or west was really north or south, so I often ended up going the wrong direction. And another quirk of Chicago highways is that not all exits/entrances have all four off-on ramps--that is, you might be able to exit easily, but only be able to get back on the highway going east. Want to go west? Too bad; you can't.

The device I used was to remember the movie, North by Northwest. That is, to go north, go must go west.

This billboard was on 290 East, just a few miles before the 90/94 interchange--that is, the perfect place for it! And more importantly, it was actually providing a valuable service. Harris Bank could have put up a billboard that says "We care" or "Award-winning customer service" or "No teller fees." That is what any other bank would have done. That's what people expect in a billboard. We don't expect a bank to actually show us, right then and there, that they provide useful services in our everday lives outside of banking. Astounding!

Take note. How can you make a difference in your customers' lives right now? What can you do to show how great your service is instead of just talking about it? How can you help out in unexpected ways?

Great customer service

Since I have a very long post brewing about some hideously bad customer service experiences with United and Western Digital, here's recognition of some great customer service people who get it:

Great Harvest Bread
After hours (literally hours) on the phone with Western Digital one day (and no, the XHD still doesn't back up, but they swear it works with a Mac, really it does), I didn't think I'd be able to talk to those idiots for one more minute without using obscenities, so I left to run some errands. On the way back, I stopped by Great Harvest Bread. Why? Because I knew I'd have a great customer service experience. I didn't really need the $4 latte that I ordered, and I could just have easily gone to the Starbuck's across the street. Why didn't I? Because I know that, as a company, they have a belief that everyone deserves warm bread. So as I was waiting for my latte, a chipper young thing asked me if she could give me some bread while I was waiting.

"Yes, I'm having a terrible day," I said, "What will make me feel better?"
She didn't hesitate. "The oatmeal-poppyseed bread," she replied, and cut me a generous slice of warm bread, which I then doused in honey.

OK, sure, it's company policy and sure, she had to offer me bread, but that's kind of the point, isn't it? Having a philosophy that says, "Hey, what can we do to make our customers' days a bit better?" and implementing that policy so that people will come back (and possibly chose you over a competitor) is what exceeding customers' expectations is all about. That's what makes for great customer service.

My dry cleaner

Last week, I walked into my dry cleaner to drop off some pants to be fitted. (Yes, every single pair of pants I buy has to be taken in at the waist, but don't get me started on how pants aren't made for women with waists and hips).

Where was I? Oh, yes, the dry cleaner. I walked in the door and let her know that I had some pants to be taken in, and she directed me to the fitting room. We went through three pant fittings as usual. No big deal, right? But here's the amazing thing: when I came out, there was my dry cleaning that I'd dropped off the week before waiting for me! I'd never said my name, and I only come in once every few months, but still, she knew me by sight!

As I paid for the dry cleaning, her husband took the cleaning off the stand and waited by the door. Yes, every time I come in, he carries the dry cleaning out to my car for me and hangs it up on my car's hook for that purpose. He refuses to accept tips.

That, my friends, is service. The car is only a few steps away; it isn't really tough to not provide that extra service for your customers; they can easily carry it themselves, right? Why not just lower your prices instead of paying for someone to carry the cleaning to people's cars?

Because customers like me don't want lower prices; we want to be treated like human beings. Special human beings, even. We want to feel that our business is appreciated. We want to be recongized on sight. We want to get that little bit of pampering to make our day of errands that much nicer. Sure, you could just provide basic service and try to compete on price, but people like me come back to places that make us feel good.

Great Harvest Bread and my dry cleaner made me feel good this week. Who made you feel good this week?

How to look better than your competition

Have you heard about the Starbuck's free drink offer? It seems that Starbucks distributed online coupons to its employees with instructions to share with family only. The coupons very quickly went viral, and Starbucks refused to honor them, saying that they'd been duplicated beyond the original scope of the offer.

True, but there is a graceful way to deal with offers that get out of hand, and this isn't it. A graceful way to deal with this would have been to recognize that even though the offer got out of hand, both loyal and new customers still deserve a good Starbucks experience. A graceful way to deal with this would have been to put up a sign saying that Starbucks will honor all coupons; have a drink on us!

Instead, Starbucks put up signs "explaining" the situation and refusing to honor the coupons.

So Caribou Coffee stepped up. Yup; that's right. Starbucks had its chance and tripped over its own feet, so Caribou waltzed in and swept away its customers in a graceful pas de deux. Caribou will offer all the coupons that Starbucks won't, even if they are fake. Does it matter that they're fake or distributed beyond the original intent at this point? Not a bit. What matters is that Caribou is coming across as that graceful, generous guy in the exotic tuxedo, and Starbucks now looks like the dork in the ill-fitting suit with stains on the tie.

What a great example of a company seeing a misunderstanding as an opportunity, not something to be quashed or controlled. What a great example of someone saying, "How can we use this to show how cool we are to the people who don't know us all that well?" Starbuck's could've done that, but they didn't.

Me, I'm off to Caribou.

Great Big Small Biz Show

The Great Big Small Business Show's episode four is up, and it's all about customer service. Download the episode here.

This week's episode is chock-full of customer service ideas! I talk about seeking first to understand and the value of listening; Steve Rucinski discusses advisory boards; Ben Yoskovitz addresses cultivating customer loyalty; Colleen Wainwright gives her favorite ticks for improving customer service; and Chris Brogan gives his thoughts on experience management.

Seth Godin's omelette

Thanks to Seth Godin for a stellar analogy explaining why it's important not to do things just like everyone else. This is what in my industry is called "phoning it in." After giving the same presentation twenty times at a trade show, it's very easy to phone it in--let the mind wander and run the talk on autopilot. As Seth points out, doing things in a standardized way is easier, so why bother to make this one thing special? Why use a cast-iron skillet, fresh herbs or extra egg whites to make a truly wonderful omelette when it's so much easier and more efficient to use a regular skillet, buy prepacked herb powder and use a standard number of eggs?

As Seth concludes,

Once you start compromising, when do you stop?

If your goal is to be remarkable, please understand that the easiest way to do that is to compromise less, not more.

What a great lesson for us entrepreneurs. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--when you're a small or mid-sized business, there is NO excuse for not doing the small things it takes to stand out. In my business, these things are the equivalent of using a cast-iron skillet, fresh herbs and extra egg whites:

• handwritten thank-you notes
• personal phone calls every few months
• a personalized gift basket after your first gig with me
• handwritten holiday card
• snapshots of you and your team emailed to you after every show
• attendance at any events you may have external to the show--dinners, cocktail parties, sponsored banquets--for extra face time and networking with your clients (can you believe that most spokespeople make excuses not to attend these??)
• free advice on booth orientation, presentation length, giveaways
• of course, free advice through this blog and the podcast

And that's just off the top of my head. So what do you offer to your clients that other companies don't? How are you showing your clients that you take pride in your work and that you refuse to compromise?

Apple's battery exchange program

After placing my request for a non-flammable replacement battery from Apple, I received this email response:

Dear Apple Customer,

Thank you for ordering a replacement battery. Your request (Order number XXXXXX) is currently being processed.

It will take approximately 4 to 6 weeks for your replacement battery to arrive. Please note that shipping time may vary due to availability of your battery model.

Battery Exchange Program details and an FAQ may be found at:

http://support.apple.com/batteryprogram

We appreciate your cooperation with this exchange program.

Apple

Gee, four to six weeks? So if my battery bursts into flame before then... ? Apple doesn't seem to be in much of a hurry to rectify their mistakes, do they? I'm glad they did institute this program, but their approach seems awfully.... lazy and corporate. Disappointing.

Trust us; we know what we're doing

The customer is always right.

How often have we heard this refrain about customer service? Now, I know that the general idea here is that instead of arguing with the customer, you should listen first, be receptive, respect his/her opinion and/or frustration, blah, blah, blah.

But what if we went in thinking that the customer isn't always right, that we actually know better?

This struck me as I was looking at a menu for Orange, a fantastic new brunch place I tried this weekend. First let me say that I absolutely LOVE brunch; it's by far my favorite way/time to eat. I love eternal cups of coffee refilled lovingly by college students; I love ceramic coffee mugs that you can wrap your hands around; I love breakfast potatoes with creative twists (apples, sweet potatoes, whatever) thrown in; I love fresh-squeezed orange juice and omelettes with an ingredient list that make you go hmmmm. (My current favorite is a pear-smoked gouda-walnut omelette available at Handlebar restaurant and my kitchen).

And Orange features truly gourmet selections--from the chicken-ginger-thai omelette served with a tamarind reduction to the chai tea French toast to pan-seared oatmeal to what I ordered, a garlic-marjoram-asparagus-mushroom omelette topped with toasted almonds and a balsamic reduction.

Yeah, good stuff. [wipes drool]

But what should I read at the top of the menu but this:

Okay, if you want to "build your own" omelet, go to a place with either "Golden" or "Nugget" in the name. You see we don't do that here. Trust us.

A little chip-on-the-shouldery, yes? But the point is that they can back it up. Their creations are indeed infinitely better and more carefully crafted than most of us could dream of concieving. Their flavor combinations and cooking procedures (really, who would have thought of pan-searing oatmeal??) are the result of thoughtful experimentation and a knowledge of complimentary taste sensations. In short, they are experts; they know it; and they won't take any guff from their customers.

So this is very often our job as consultants--we listen to our customers' concerns and to their palates, but it's up to us to use our expertise to give them not what they think they want but what we know they will enjoy. It's our job to say, "Trust us; we know what we're doing."

Now the challenge, of course, is to get the customers to take that leap from what they can imagine to what YOU can imagine. At Orange, I had no issues with trust, mostly because the entiremenu made me drool. But there was also a wall filled with plaques--from the Chicago Reader's excellent review to their Zagat's prize to other recomendations from sources that I trust. So as Julia O'Connor has pointed out before, most customers are really comfortable with case studies--before/after photos, client testimonials, the equivalent of a high Zagat rating that will ease them into trusting your imagination.

So if you don't provide mouth-watering selections on your site, maybe it's time to update. Include photos of happy clients with their before and after stories and/or photos. Keep a Brag Book of your best work, and tell stories about your most satisfied clients. Make your menu irresistable.

For more writings on the conversational tone of Orange's menu, check out Gray Miller's post here.

How long did you try it... ?

I talk a lot here about communicating with passion, usually along the lines of "if you passionately believe in your product, your presentation/blog/podcast will be great." Or, if not great, at least engaging and informative.

But as I was browsing through Guy Kawasaki's blog, having belatedly added it to my aggregator, he had some excellent comments to a post on the Creating Passionate Users blog, Popularity Breeds Contempt,, on how to deal with critics. That is, what do you do or say when you are being dissed by people who probably know very little about your product or service?

Some would say to blow them off. Or, if it's during a presentation, divert the discussion to another topic. Or make a joke. Or offer to engage the critic in a discussion later with a soothing, "I'm glad you brought that up, and I'd love to discuss that with you after the talk." (Yes, that particular "some" would be me!) :-)

But how about this advice that the post offers? Ask the critic this:

How long did you try it before you came to these conclusions? Because the feedback is really important to us.

You can probably guess what the answer will be--either a very short period of time or not at all because "I don't need to try something to know it's wrong." But isn't that a respectful, fairly non-confrontational way to engage in a conversation and get to the facts behind the emotions, to discover the basis on which the opinion was formed? And on the chance that the opinion was formed after much careful consideration, isn't that feedback that you'd really like to have? In my opinion, this question is useful because:

1. You're addressing the complaint instead of dismissing it, which is the first rule of good customer service.
2. You're seeking first to understand, then to be understood, which engages the critic respectfully.
3. If the critic has no solid basis for the critique, you're showing that to anyone else who is listening/reading. And again, respectfully.
4. If there is a good basis for the critique, you have set up a conversational environment in which it can be addressed and possibly even improve your product.

Guy Kawasaki and the little guy

Guy Kawasaki has an excellent post on customer service from the point of view of the customer. He gives great advice on dealing with service agents that might otherwise not be helpful, and his post set me to thinking of customer service in terms that are a bit more Zen.

That is, it takes two people to have a disagreement. We're all in this together. Granted, the customer service rep might just be in a crappy mood and take it out on you, but in those cases, try to put yourself in his/her shoes. You never know--she might just have spent a half-hour being yelled at by some angry, unreasonable customer for something she didn't do or had no control over, and then you stepped up and asked her for something.

This is why I like Guy's advice about starting the conversation with a joke or even a simple, "So how's your day?' to sympathize and establish a connection with the service person. Part of their job is to have people yell at them, and you never know what they had to deal with before you stepped up.

I was at IKEA just two days ago (yes, on a Saturday at the busiest IKEA in North America--quite a zoo!) trying to return a rug I'd bought the week before. The first thing I did was to sympathize that she was working on a Saturday--she was brave one!

She grimaced but then grinned, took at look at the rug, furrowed her brows and said, "Well, I'm not supposed to take this back; it's been used."

Yes, I conceded. I admitted that I'd had it on my floor for a week, but it just didn't match my dining room. Instead of demanding that she take it back, I simply apologized for the wear and asked if it would still be OK. Asked. Not "ordered," no tantrums necessary.

She did, of course, and I thanked her for her understanding. In and out in five minutes, no one got upset, no muss, no fuss. A little respect can go a long way.

Apple's Repair Contract & the Conversation

A few folks have been kind enough to point out that Apple's policy is laid out on its Repair Terms and Conditions page. So last week I did take a look and read through all the fine print to find the salient point. Under #4 of 12:

Apple will retain the replaced part that is exchanged under repair service as its property, and the replacement part will become your property. Replaced parts are generally repairable and are exchanged or repaired by Apple for value. If applicable law require Apple to return a replaced part to you, you agree to pay Apple the additional cost of the replacement item.

And I've included a scan of the contract. Can't read it? Neither can I--it's not even in black type; it's in light gray so as to be more difficult to read. Still, I'll own up to not reading all twelve gray paragraphs before I gave permission for the repair.

So two items are of interest here. First, the policy does indeed state that Apple will keep the part and even that they profit from refurbishing the part. As a point of curiosity, I wonder under what law Apple would be required to return a part to a customer? Perhaps something regarding privacy over the data that is contained on customers' hard drives?

The second item of interest is (broken record time here) Apple's PR response to this issue. No one at Apple would speak to me about this policy, even to confirm its existence. I have to wonder why the store manager didn't simply quote me this bit of text from the repair policy that I'd obviously signed. Instead, he refused comment and directed me to the PR department, who have also refused comment despite my repeated requests for Apple to have a voice in this conversation.

So instead, Apple lovers like myself are debating this issue in the blogosphere and podosphere without the benefit of any official word from Apple itself. It's disappointing that such a forward-thinking company won't join in the electronic conversation.

Apple's customer service clarification

The story of Apple's lack of PR response to their repair policy is finding its way through the blogosphere here and here and the podosphere (forward to 14:32 for Lee Hopkins' comments on Apple's lack of PR response).

I have to admit that I am conflicted about this. Visions of Forbes' "Attack of the Blogs" article are running through my head, with its fear-mongering warnings that bloggers are out to get corporate America.

However, it's not my intent to smear Apple. I like Apple! I've written articles on their stellar customer service, and I want them to rise above this incident, join in the conversation and defend their policy. Silence from a company as notoriously conscientious and user-friendly as Apple is quite disappointing and shows a surprising lack of respect to their customers and their public.

To Apple's PR department: please join in the conversation!

Also, I'd like to clarify one element of the customer service issue. First of all, some are assuming that the repair was covered under warranty. This is not the case; it was NOT a warranty repair. I was charged full price for the replacement hard drive. My apologies if that aspect of the interaction was not clear.

Apple customer service update

To update on Apple's repair policy... well, I can't, since there is still no official word on the nature of their repair policy. However, calls to the Apple store on North Michigan did garner a return call from yet another manager, who managed to refer to the policy in such laid-back terms as to make it almost palatable.

A very personable manager said that it would be fine to keep my old hard drive for more than 30 days, and they would "really appreciate it" if I could get it back to them "at some point," even if Disk Savers took it apart, rendering it unusable. And he agreed to tear up the credit card slip for $300 I'd had to sign in order to take my old hard drive back.

Now, I should say that Jeff was incredibly warm and helpful without being effusive, and I congratulate him on handling the matter in a kind and fair way. And if his explanation had been the only one expressed, I would probably have been satisfied with my customer service experience.

However, there is still this nagging issue that Apple claims that my old hard drive belongs to them. Does it or not? If so, where and when did I sign over ownership to them? And while I'm happy not to have to pay $300 to them if the old drive isn't returned to Apple intact, what about other customers who will? Is that really the policy?

And what's more, the media relations contact refused to answer all questions about Apple's repair and parts policies without knowing my computer's serial number and looking up my specific customer interaction details. I'm baffled as to why the general question of "Is it Apple's policy to take ownership of parts that are entrusted to it for repair?" can't be answered for a blog article without looking up a sales slip.